Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
