Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
