Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize