I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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