u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
