I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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