New invention idea: vibrating tampons
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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