Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize