; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize