Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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