wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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