Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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