I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize