drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
