Sacagawea was the original milf.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
