You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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