you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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