So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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