I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
