Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
