So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
