There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just invented taco cereal.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
