New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
