So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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