make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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