i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
