I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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