Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
