i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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