Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
