there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
