I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
