so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
