Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
