just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
