I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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