Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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