Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
