"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
