the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
