So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
