Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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