Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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