3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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