We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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