i may or may not be watching the land before time
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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