The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
