Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
