how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
