i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
