i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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