he thought i was a dude.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize