The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
