The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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