I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
