What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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