yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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