What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
