Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
