I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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