Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
