Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
