For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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