even my farts smell like vagina
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
