Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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